- I’d invite 20 of my in-laws over
- I’d clean for days like it was my job
- I’d cook a huge ass turkey and everything that goes with it
- I’d cook 6 pies mostly from scratch
- I would end up a crazy bitch and my family would hide under their beds until the company arrived and I put my game face on.
Life is a lot different now. My own children are “company” now because they don’t live with me. I’m extremely grateful that they are here with me on this holiday because their presence is no longer guaranteed. They are nearly 24 and 21, not children at all. They are at that odd place where home isn’t really “home” anymore. They have been away at college, and I’m married now to someone who isn’t their father, and even though it’s still the same house and I’m still their mother, “home” is nothing like it used to be. I’m not like I used to be. Here’s how I’m different this Thanksgiving:
- I don’t care if they leave their crap everywhere and make the freshly mopped floor dirty
- I’m only making our favorite dishes for dinner and none of the shit that no one will eat
- I’m only making one kind of pie – chocolate – because that’s what everyone likes
- I’m making Stove Top stuffing instead of stuffing from scratch, and I’m not cramming it up the turkey’s ass because nobody likes ass stuffing except me
- I’m using jar gravy instead of making it from scratch
- I spent more on booze than I did on Thanksgiving dinner
- I may or may not be drunk before the bird is done cooking
I want peace. I want easy. I want no drama. Is it because I’ve learned to relax? Or is it because I just don’t give a shit anymore? It doesn’t matter. For better or worse, this is the me I’ve become for this year. Next year may be different.