After following the Expert’s Guide to Living Outside Your Means, I felt like I had failed in every aspect of my life. My finances were in ruin, I was a little overweight obese, I hadn’t thought for myself in more than 20 years. I didn’t know who to trust so I had no support network. I was afraid to point myself in any direction for fear of being wrong. I had forgotten how to make decisions. And I had a lot of decisions to make.
Oddly, I wasn’t depressed. I was actually relieved that I finally had a chance set the ship right, and that I could do it any way I wanted, without resistance from anyone else. The thrill of the opportunity of second chances began to overtake my fears and give me confidence. None of it was about meeting someone new. I was perfectly content to live out my days alone. All I wanted was to be the best “me” I could be. There was just one small snag to that plan: I had no clue who “me” was any more.
Thus began a period of exploration. Since I hadn’t had friends in a very long time, I started taking advantage of opportunities to go out when invited. I went to after-hours social events and parties. I tried new foods and read books. I rediscovered old hobbies and picked up some new ones. I did a little traveling and discovered that I was perfectly capable of getting on and off a plane, renting a car, and driving through places like Los Angeles all by myself! I spent time with my family again. They were happy to see me break out of my cocoon and emerge a beautiful butterfly. They had missed the old me as much as I had missed them. And I realized a shocking thing: that I liked me!
As my confidence returned, I started to take a deep dive into my current state of affairs. And I’m not talking about my love life. I’m talking about everything but that.
And I was frightened. I had no idea what I’d gotten myself into…