Last night, the breakdown that I wrote about earlier in the day continued. My boyfriend was coming over for dinner with his kids. It was the first time the kids and I had seen each other since their father suddenly moved them out. I was not looking forward to it. My mood was so foul that I wanted nothing more than to hibernate until I felt better.
On the way home, I picked up some make-me-feel-better books at the library. Then I braced myself for the invasion.
They arrived with groceries and a box of my favorite wine in hand.
That’s when I knew everything would be ok.
I hadn’t wanted to dump my negative emotions onto my boyfriend, but as we cooked together, he could tell something was bothering me. He set down his knife, took my hands in his and said, “Babe, I can see you’re upset…can I get you a glass of wine?” And I fell in love with him all over again.
I told him about my sudden and vehement hatred of working so much and what I had done about it. All he said was, “It’s about time,” and hugged me. And my fears and stress began to melt away.
During dinner, I noticed a strange smell. It was a plastic-y, electrical-ish burning kind of smell. I looked up and saw tendrils of smoke coming from the ceiling fan above my dining room table. I turned off the switch and thank goodness it stopped.
With the mood I was in, you would think that nearly catching my house on fire with 4 little kids inside would have pushed me to tears, but we just shrugged our shoulders and laughed and scooped out more mashed potatoes.
After dinner, he and I enjoyed wine on the back patio. It was the first time I’d relaxed on the patio since the night he moved out. It felt beautiful.
And he said, “Babe, once I get a house, I want you to move in with us, for free. I want you to sell this house and pay off your debt once and for all. Or you can rent it out to someone. But I want you to be with me.”
In Fairytale Land, at this point I would’ve slapped a for sale sign in the yard and we would’ve made sweet love while picking out backsplash tile for the mythical house he’ll own someday soon. Only one piece of that fantasy actually happened.
I’m not stupid enough to put all of my eggs back into his basket just yet. I told him that if things continue to go well for us for the next 6-12 months, then maybe we could make that happen.
Fast forward to today…
My new schedule at my part-time job came out this afternoon. Now, I knew I was too late for this schedule to be affected by my reduced availability, but it definitely reiterates why I made my decision. I’m scheduled every single day at my part-time job for the next 16 days, with the exception of the 5 days I’m taking completely off to visit my daughter in North Carolina – and all in intimates.
That means absolutely nothing will get done at my house…my parents won’t get a visit…my friends won’t see me…for the next 2 weeks…and 2 days.
I absolutely, positively made the right decision.